Thankful and blessed…

Whoo hoo, made it through the first week after chemo (plus a few days). We had a nice weekend and I’m still feeling OK, as far as nausea and headaches…just super tired, mainly. And so far, still gots all my hair! 😆👍


I’ve had several really good days, overall. But unfortunately, today I woke up pretty rough with back pain. The new pain meds I recurved on Monday are not cutting it, and to be honest, my attitude and spirit was being tested all day.


Luckily, I had a lunch date planned with my Dad, Dee and brother Garr…very special people. I mentioned I was in desperate need to shop for new bras (but feeling too beat to drive to the store) and Dee whisked me off to Kohl’s with Dad’s credit card; they both refused to let me pay for my new girlie wear. Xoxo


By the time we got done shopping I was completely worn out, in pain and ready to lay down, shut down. 😭😓🤬


So I camped out on the couch…but just when I’m ready to start feeling sorry for myself, I get a knock on the door and receive a beautiful holiday floral arrangement (along with several very generous gift cards) from friends at Dalby Wendland & Co (several friends work there – through Lion’s Club, Sober Grad Board, PTA, etc.).

This arrangement is beyond gorgeous, and so thoughtful!

Ten minutes later, our beautiful neighbor Sherry H. dropped by with an adorable tray of homemade Christmas cookies and a warm hug. Xoxo

I put several of these cookies away for Santa for Christmas Eve… we’re gonna score BIG with the Big Guy with these delicious morsels, I’m telling ya!
Kennan tested. Kennan approved. Check!

Later we check the mail and find an awesome inspirational coloring book from friends Dennis and Carol W. I randomly open the book and turn to which saying other than, “This too shall pass.”

One of my absolute favorite sayings. ❤️🙏


On a day I desperately needed a pick me up, these are definitely NOT mere coincidences.

Thank you, friends and family. ❤️😭

And thank you Dear Lord for gifting me today to count my blessings instead of my troubles. Thank you for the overflowing kindness of family and friends. I am in awe and filled with gratitude!


Tomorrow is already a better day! Xoxo

Love & blessings always,

Jammie ❤️

What the WHAT?

AKA The Extended Version. People have asked me how I found out about the lung cancer. It’s not a simple answer, and to be honest, has been a long and challenging year-long chase. And believe me, we’ve chased many a wrong rabbit down a wrong rabbit hole along the way.

It started late last year (December 2018) when I came down with the worst flu (and coughing fits) of my life, and I haven’t felt quite right since. Ongoing throat and chest pain kept bothering me well into the new year, but I figured I had lingering bronchitis I just couldn’t kick. 

Around February I went to my primary doctor for a strep test, which came back negative. I also mentioned a continued dry cough and what felt like…I wasn’t sure what…heartburn maybe? So off we went down that road.

Acid reflux (GERD, LPR) seemed to be the most likely culprit for the dry cough, chest pain and sore throat…so we chased that rabbit for months and months with different medications, diet and lifestyle changes (bidding adieu to soda, coffee, spicy food, chocolate, citrus and much more). I had a few more strep tests along the way just to be sure (I swear it felt like strep!), bloodwork, an H. Pylori test (if you’ve been there, gimme a woot woot for that fun procedure…haha!). I joined several online GERD/LPR support groups trying to figure out what the heck was going on. Nothing helped. In September I decided to bite the bullet and get an endoscopy. Those results came back clear. No sign of reflux or GERD. At least I can drink coffee again! 😂❤️☕️

Meanwhile…my back pain continued to worsen since January-ish. I thought I needed a new mattress or to lose weight. I started walking and did lose a few… bonus! But every day I woke up a little stiffer and had to pop a few more ibuprofen to get through the night. In June, I made Brad stop at Tumbleweed + dispensary on our way to the Garth Brooks concert… damned if I was going to let back pain keep me from enjoying Garth! Turns out medicinal gummies are not my thing…but I do love my Nordic Goddess ointment!

In July I ended up at my primary doc again… for yet another strep test and seeking advice about my back. Negative on the strep (again) but they ordered muscle relaxers and more stretching exercises for my back pain.

The pain continued to escalate, so in late August, my primary doc ordered a spinal x-ray. The initial diagnosis was moderate arthritis and it took a MONTH to get into the ortho for a consultation. After a month-long wait..I went in for a consultation (September 26) that lasted less than five minutes. The doc basically asked me to touch my toes and ordered a spinal MRI.

A week later I learn that my MRI got cancelled because it was declined by insurance…they wanted me to try some alternative therapies first. I threw an ABSOLUTE FIT (not really in my character) and got that decision reversed within a week.

I got the MRI on October 10 and from there, things kicked into a higher gear…including these procedures: 

  • Spinal X-ray
  • Spinal MRI
  • Nuclear bone scan that detected a shadow on my lung
  • Chest X-ray
  • Chest CT
  • Chest Biopsy
  • Don’t forget the somewhat pointless EDG
  • Deep bone biopsy
  • PET Scan
  • Brain MRI/CT

On October 31, lung cancer was confirmed. The PET scan and brain MRI showed it has not spread to my other organs. For that I am truly, truly thankful!!

Apparently our lungs don’t have a lot  of pain receptors, so until recently, I wasn’t experiencing a lot of direct chest pain despite a 33mm mass in my right lung. In retrospect, my primary doc speculates that the heartburn-like chest pain and sore throat were due to “referred pain” emanating from my lung. It could have gone on much longer, undetected and growing for months had I not had the x-ray to figure out my back pain. 

So the lesson here is … mystery rabbits are a pain in the T8, but can also be a blessing in disguise.

I continue to count my blessings. 

If you’ve hung in there and read this much…thanks for reading my ramblings. I’m trying to journal and process all that’s happened and understand how it all fits together. 

I’m soooooooo ready for the next step. Please note, I have cancer…it does NOT have me.  Whatever treatment is needed… I’m ready. Let’s go. Thanks for fighting this fight with me…we WILL win!! xoxo 

Love & blessings always,
Jammie

Here we are…

Pray when you feel like worrying. Give thanks when you feel like complaining. Keep going when you feel like quitting.

Dave Willis

Here we go.

Dear Friends and Family,

Life has been a crazy roller coaster the last few months and there’s no easy way to say it…but on October 31, I was diagnosed with lung cancer (non-small cell). I have a 33 mm mass on my right lung, it’s on a lymph node and a few other small spots on my lungs… and there’s a tumor on my T8 vertebrae (the cause of most of my pain) so it’s considered Stage 4.

Stage 4. It sounds scary to be honest… however, it’s nothing but a meaningless number as far as I’m concerned. We CAN AND WILL blast this $#%! back to the infernos whether it’s stage 1-2-3 or 4…ALL the same!!

Now for some AWESOME news … additional testing (PET scan and brain MRI about two weeks ago) reported that it has NOT spread to other major organs. I’m truly and extremely thankful to God for those answered prayers!

Yet, honestly it still feels like a kick in the gut… I feel obligated to say that I’ve never smoked in my life and I’m still shocked. But we are dealing with it the best we can, trying to stay positive and counting our blessings. I have lots of blessings. First, it’s me and not my kids. I’ll take this burden 24/7 days a week 1,000 times over. And second, I have treatment options and TIME, a luxury and a blessing that some tragically never get (thinking of those suddenly lost to accidents, who never get to say goodbye). So truly, there is so much to be thankful for.

Thanks to Amber & Mike, my sweet neighbors and friends for the awesome ornament. Xo

THE PLAN – I started chemo on Monday, and I’m sincerely optimistic about the incredible treatment plan my doctor put together. It’s a powerful combination of two different kinds of chemotherapy, an immunotherapy, an autoimmunotherapy… and radiation as a back up. It’s an aggressive plan – she consulted with her mentor in Houston who is one of the leading lung cancer specialists in the US. I feel really blessed to have this level of care.

I’ll have chemo (5-6 hour infusion) once every 21 days, with 4-6 rounds depending on how it goes. If the chemo works to shrink the tumor on my vertebrae they may not have to do radiation at all.

Thanks Padgetts for the super soft inspirational Sherpa blankey … and to Mom and Shel for the comfy new outfit for my first chemo.
Magic cookies from Ft. Morgan. ❤️🍪

This week has been an epic battle with fatigue, one I have not won. I feel beyond tired. But so far I’ve been able to hold the nausea and other chemo side effects at bay for the most part, which is great. Back and chest pain have been my biggest physical challenges. I’m on some hefty painkillers … they make it hard to function. Hopefully those symptoms start to ease up as the chemo treatments progress. I’m super hopeful for that.

It’s been a REALLY long couple weeks/months waiting on all these tests, insurance approvals, more tests, biopsies, additional tests and lining out the treatment plan. And the holiday week did slow things down.

But I’m honestly sooooo grateful and happy to FINALLY get started on the fight!! I’m going to get through this… it may be a tough road ahead but I’m / we’re (FAMILY / TRIBE POWERED) much, much tougher!

More good news – I plan to live to be 85…so I’m not going anywhere. What I really need and would appreciate is if you could please we pray for us, especially my BOYS…we need your prayers and positive, healing thoughts and and good vibes only!! NEVER DOUBT even once that I’m going to get through this!! Xoxo

Sorry to share such news. This cancer is NO FUN, scary stuff BUT I’m a super tough Mama Bear with the love and strength of my friends and family and prayers to God behind me. I have way too much to do to let this slow me down for long.

I can’t thank my family and friends enough for EVERYTHING.

Brad. I can’t even say your name without tearing up. You are my rock, even when you feel like crumbling. Through every doctor’s appointment, every sleepless night, and the occasional meltdowns… when the minutes linger like hours and heavy as a stone, together we bear this weight as we wait and we will get through this as we’ve done everything for the last 20 years…together.

Mom and Michelle. Two parts of the Italian Triangle. Triangles are the strongest form, three equal foundations of support holding strong for each other. There’s a reason why my favorite number has always been three. Thank you for being there for me in every single way.

My boys. My reason. Why I fully plan on living to be 85, thank-you-very-much. My biggest concern through all of this. Please know, my friends & family, that we appreciate your love and support … Keith and Kennan will reach out if and when they want to talk. That said, they don’t seem to want to talk about it much right now, and for now, that’s perfectly ok. They are my world and I know they love me and are deeply worried. Brad and I will continue to help them process this as they are ready. For now, please keep them in your thoughts and prayers and help us keep things as normal as possible for them.

Beloved family and friends (who have become like family) who have been checking in on me with love and concern. From the simple texts that mean so much, to cards, letters and phone calls to bringing food, care packages, and sending flowers…sharing the burden and lightening the emotional load. You are a true blessing.

Angela has me covered with compression socks and a port pillow, so thoughtful.
💜
Amazing friends Lisa & Rita – thanks for extending your superpowers!! ❤
Sunshine Bear keeping me company at chemo…one of the awesome sunshiny gifts from my Mom Squad care package thanks to Kati, Kelli, Candace & Krystal.
These handsome guys keeping watch over me during my infusions. Xoxo

My Aunt Tiny who’s been pitching in to help us keep up the house and laundry through this stressful time, what a generous heart and soul she is. My cousin Gary and Rachel who helped put up our Christmas decorations so we could have some Christmas cheer. Dad/Dee and fam with daily check ins even if it’s just to hear, “no news.” Work-family who have been supportive as I’ve gone to doctor’s appointments and muddled through the past few weeks, more than a bit overwhelmed.

I truly have so much to be thankful for. I’m completely humbled by the love and support of all of the awesome people in my life. xoxo

Sincere thanks, love and blessings to you all, always! xoxo


Take care & love,
Jammie